XO Expat Plans a Wedding

At first I was totally excited about doing everything DIY.  But my life created other priorities (moving to South Africa, getting life together rather than fretting about handmade everything for the wedding).  But, I had already bought all the materials for my invites, and I thought they would set the tone for our non-traditional, informal wedding in December.  

I love the look of embossing and embossed two separate parts of the invite: the vellum overlay that had all the pertinent info was embossed with a pearly silver metallic, and the petal-fold cardstock was embossed with our initials and a heart-symbol thing I designed. 

1.  Clear stamps are really the coolest thing ever.  You may be tempted to save money and scrap the clear mounting block, but it’s worth it.  If you get the one with the grid, then you could even use it for other types of projects as well. 

2.  Don’t stress about the exact placement of each stamp.  You’ll drive yourself crazy.  I only had fifty invites to do, but by the end I swapped anal for anything goes. I was like, yeah, that works! no matter how the stamps turned out.

3.  Allow yourself plenty of time.  Since I only had fifty invites, I really wanted to crank ‘em out all at the same time, and it worked better for me since the set-up/break-down would have been a pain to do more than once.  If you have more than that, however, you might want to consider doing it in batches.  

4.  Consider your ink/powder color combos.  The first time I tried embossing, I used clear ink and silver powder.  When you use colored powder, you have to be really sure that you get all the stray particles off, otherwise you’ll leave specks that can’t be removed once you’ve heated it up. I’ve heard there are some products that help with that (using cornstarch, I think).  If this is a serious problem for you, I recommend using colored ink with clear powder.  What I ended up doing was silver ink with silver powder for a stronger effect.

5. Beware of sparkles! For the monogram/heart thingy, I used really cool sparkly embossing powder.  The sparkles go everywhere.  Seriously, I went through two rounds of heating that section of the invite because I though they weren’t done thoroughly when I discovered that the glitter sheds.  Alas, I put in all that extra work for nothing.  True, the sparkles look cool, but as soon as you touch it, your finger is bedazzled.  My friend back home says glitter is like the herpes of the craft world (gross, I know, but in this case a tad appropriate). 

What advice do you have for fellow embossers? 

“I love…cake…” —Eric Foreman, That 70’s Show

Ah, wedding cake.  The edible symbol of your relationship in fondant-covered form.  SO many questions for an unfussy bride—chocolate or vanilla, buttercream or whipped, to top or not to top—it all seems too much for me to handle.  And, let me get this out of the way: while I can respect certain celebrity pastry chefs as business owners and professional visionaries, most of the cakes I see are just not for me. 

                         (Source: NY Daily News, Credit: Swanson/News)

And I have something to confess: I abhor fondant.  It’s true, and I won’t sacrifice delicious-ness for a pristinely smooth cake, or even one with bobbles galore.  Plus, the way they drape it over the cake like a skin? It’s creepy! But, that’s just me. 

Although one of my top five favorite foods is a good cheesecake, it just doesn’t seem too wedding-y to me. (I have a friend who went to a wedding where the cake was literally cheese—wheels of it!)

                                              (Source: Event Bliss)

So I have decided on an Italian Cream Cake by a local baker named Wanda. I remember my sister requesting this as her birthday cake one year, but she recently informed me that the cake actually made its debut at a cousin’s wedding and I just didn’t remember it.  Either way, the cake is seriously yummy, but nothing fancy to look at.

                                                (Source:  JenX Cakes)

Pretty plain looking, right?  We’ll only be feeding about 60 people, so I think something along these lines will work, and it is just so delish with the creamiest cream cheese frosting, not too sweet, and the cake so dense and moist you could eat it like home-baked bread. So I think I can handle plain, and I’ll just dress it up a little.  I know Wanda can do chocolate covered strawberries, so that’s a consideration, and I love the look of fresh flowers on a cake:

                                                 (Source: The Knot)

                                              (Source: Brides.com)

At one time, I even thought about making a personalized wedding topper out of clay to show FH, myself, and our dog Chiwi.  

My first (and only) attempt lasted hours as I tried to mold myself out of Sculpey clay, rolling out little white snakes to use as the lace for my sleeves. (Afterwards, I decided to remove the sleeves from my actual dress and had to remove the lacy arms from my clay body.  I have since decided to leave the sleeves alone when we moved the wedding back to December, and have all but given up on the clay figures).  There were too many problems for me to handle by my inexperienced self. I couldn’t keep the white clay from looking dirty, I couldn’t attach the head to the neck at the right place or make a foil form to shape the skirt that wasn’t too bumpy. So that plan is pretty much gone, although there are several etsy artists that could help out if I decide to try again. 

How did you decide to decorate your cake?  Is your cake a priority for you? Which is more important, function or form?

When I first got engaged, we though we would get married in the summertime.  Perfect for my favorite palette, yellows and creams and blush.  Logistics interfered and this went by the wayside, however I thought I’d share what I envisioned for the theme: paper.  I didn’t have a venue, but I knew how I wanted to decorate.  I have always loved the look of paper lanterns, and being affordable, thought they would be a great way to decorate, using playful groupings and also maybe incorporating swags of fabric from the ceiling:

                                    (Source: Asianideas.com, Credit: M. Klopfer)

                                               (Source: Asianideas.com)

Also, I was inspired by a Cinco de Mayo party at my dance studio (I know it’s incredibly cheesy, but hey).  The crepe paper flowers that we arranged in glass vases were old and had softened in color.  There was a peachy color, soft white, and pink.  I loved the texture and from far off they looked kind of poetic.  So paper flowers, in bright colors from Amol’s in San Antonio:

                                                    (Source: Amols.com)

(Unfortunately, Amol’s only sells these flowers in assorted colors, and you can’t choose the colors you want, so if you have a strict color scheme, it would be risky.  If you google “handmade mexican paper flowers” or put it into ebay, you get some other options where you can choose your own colors.)

I also somehow wanted to incorporate calla lilies.  Growing up around Mexican artwork and Diego Rivera’s paintings of women with the flowers, I’d thought of them as classic and elegant and enchanting.  

                                         (Source: Flower Shop Network)

After doing some research, we found out that they are originally from South Africa!  So that was even more perfect. I found a tutorial about how to make them from paper, but first, had to find out what the heck “grunge paper” is. (It is a thicker but pliable paper with a sueded texture). It had been a while since I had been  involved in any arts and crafts kinds of things, and apparently things have evolved quite a bit. 

But my favorite find, which I still plan on using in our December wedding, is this playful yet beautiful take on papel picado, available in several different designs and colors:

                                        (Source: Ay, Mujer Shop on etsy.com)

Also, you can never go wrong with Martha Stewart. Type in “paper flowers” in the search box and you will be treated to an array of flower making goodies. She has instructions on making crepe paper flower swizzle sticks, as well as a tutorial on how to make a beautiful rose out of coffee filters.  

                                      (Source: Martha Stewart Weddings)

Last but not least I fell in love with these fluffy tissue paper pomanders from the Ruffled Blog tutorial:

                                                  (Source: Ruffled Blog)

At this point, I really had to decide how DIY I was going to get. Keeping in mind that I had to pack everything I owned into a few suitcases in order to move across the world (to South Africa), I had to pick and choose my crafts.  (I was going on the assumption that it would be harder to find arts/crafts supplies here, and I was right).

So the supplies that I brought with me are:

Invitations stuff (Check!)

Favors stuff (halfway check…see my panic attack regarding these favors here)

Tissue paper for pomanders

Grunge paper for making calla lilies (but since have scratched the idea because of unsuccessful attempts)

The venue where we will hold the reception is a local restaurant and kind of small, so I’m sticking to a few pomanders and the papel picado for decorating since I don’t want to overpower the space, but I still love the look of all these paper decorations.  What ideas have you had that you’ve had to scrap? 

Today I was remembering a little episode that took place back in Oklahoma shortly after I had gotten engaged.  A couple of friends and I went to Applebee’s after work one night, taking our usual table at the bar when the bartender waved at us.  Overly friendly, he often liked to tell us embarrasingly blunt and informative stories of his run-ins with the cops, or his drunk friend’s hysterical girlfriend and the like. But he also liked to give us free alcohol, so we put up with his stories a couple nights a month. 

                                                 (Source: Almost A La Mode)

On this particular evening, I was dismayed that nobody had noticed my engagement ring. It was too big when I got it and had to have it sized, and it was excruciating being separated from my ring for the two days it took to size it down.  (During which time I called the jeweler to check on it after my dad told me not to let them switch out the stone.  I then had nightmares that they had changed the shape and color of my ring completely.  Thanks, Dad.) 

                                           (Source: Buy Engagement Rings)

So once I got the ring back, I wanted everyone to notice. The conflict lay in that my bosses didn’t want me to advertise the fact that I was getting married and subsequently leaving the country and abandoning my students.  So, I was wearing my ring but didn’t mention it to anyone, and no one noticed, or at least didn’t ask about it.

Back to Applebee’s: our chummy waiter had come over to gab, and my friend, let’s call her L, mentioned something about me getting ready to move. To Africa.

“Why are you doing that?” he asked incredulously, a common response when someone heard about my plans.

“She has a good reason,” L said, picking up my left hand and showing him the ring. 

                                              (Source: Jewelry Inn)

“I thought you were already married,” barman said; “that’s one of the first things I look at, is a girl’s finger, and I could’ve sworn you were already wearing a ring.”  

“That’s probably because she always wears rings on her other fingers,” said L. She gave me a sidelong glance. She had already tried to tell me that was the reason people didn’t notice the engagement ring. Then, she did the darnedest  thing.                        

“But look, I just got married!” She dropped my hand and thrust out her own, waving her fingers and making her engagement ring and wedding band’s blue and white diamonds twinkle in the dim light. (I’ve since decided that the best light to show off your diamond is in a low lit restaurant.)

                                                       (Source: Kranichs)

I couldn’t believe my best friend rock blocked me!  This was unbelievable!  I understood that she was still reveling in her four month marriage, but I was dumbfounded that my own engagement was shoved out of the way for her nuptials. 

What happens to our brain chemistry when we become brides that makes us so competitive? Has this happened to you?  Or worse, have you done this to a friend? What moments have made you particularly competitive with other brides?